Fergie dialed the national anthem up to an 11 when all it really needed was about an 8. (Allen Berezovsk/Getty Images)
Allow us, for a moment, to salute the national anthem. It’s a difficult song, musically, but one with obvious importance.
For some reason, though, every celebrity or pop star feels compelled to give the anthem some distinctive flair, when all it really cries out for is something simple. Whatever the rendition, I think we can all agree that it should be solemn (but not too solemn, at least at a sporting event) and heartfelt. And when the singer reaches “the home of the brave,” people should definitely not be laughing.
Oh, hey, Fergie. We’re looking at you.
Draymond Green is all of us pic.twitter.com/8wQ6exPvZy
— Def Pen Hoops (@DefPenHoops) February 19, 2018
The singer belted and re-belted “The Star-Spangled Banner” before the NBA All-Star Game Sunday night, and no one could keep a straight face as she yodeled on. What even is she saying here?
I have listened to this one specific line from #fergienationalanthem approximately 4,500 times. pic.twitter.com/u3QNYandPb
— Dayana Sarkisova (@dsarkisova) February 19, 2018
[It’s Fergie vs. Kevin Hart in a battle for the worst NBA all-star pregame performance]
And so, in the annals of bad, how bad was it? Roseanne Barr, who set a new standard for wretchedness with her 1990 version, tweeted, “I think mine was better lowkey.” That’s pretty bad.
You be the judge.
Among others from the annals of awfulness, there is Christina Aguilera’s flub-filled Super Bowl XLV rendition.
At least she didn’t have to write the lyrics on her hand, a la Michael Bolton.
Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler and his harmonica (!) probably will never be invited back to the Indianapolis 500.
But the version widely recognized as the worst anthem rendition appears to be the one delivered by Carl Lewis during the 1993 NBA Finals.
“If that’s what you want to define me as, that’s more on you than me,” Lewis said on “Oprah: Where Are They Now?”
As a palate cleanser, here’s Marvin Gaye’s 1983 performance at the NBA All-Star Game. Hip but respectful. Sultry but not too sexy. Still just right.
There. Everything is all right now.
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