Love Island Australia is here — and the fireworks have already started

THE trashiest, bitchiest, cringiest reality show has come to Australia, and viewers just can’t look away.

Love Island Australia follows the fortunes of toned, attractive, collagen-pumped 20-somethings, who are placed in couples and dumped on a Spanish island, where they must try to find a lasting match to win a massive $50,000.

They will have regular opportunities to pick a new partner in oddly-named “re-coupling” sessions, and sexy singles will regularly arrive on the island to spice things up.

And one more twist — they had better make sure their partner really likes them, because one member of the winning couple will have the choice of splitting the cash, or walking away with all of it.

The process is rather like picking teams in school, with the girls stepping up if interested in a guy, and the guys then choosing their favourite.

It’s clear from the start of the first episode that some (all?) of these matches are not made in heaven, with Natasha asking her new partner Charlie for his first impression of her, and being told he “couldn’t keep his eyes off Millie”. Er, thanks.

It emerges that Charlie and Millie have briefly dated in real life, and he then tells the boys that Natasha was his third choice.

Natasha takes matters into her own hands and informs Charlie they should just be friends, while Millie takes him aside to say the same. His strategy hasn’t worked too well.

Millie is having “relationship” issues of her own. Her model boyfriend Justin, a former “kangatarian” who does a solid Tarzan impression, is more interested in Tayla.

The oldest “Islander” at 27, Justin fights for what he wants, so he approaches Tayla’s “boyfriend” Josh to let him know. Josh generously says he will step aside if she’s feeling the “energy” too.

Erin and Eden snuggle up in bed for the first kiss, but she only gives him a “seven” — perhaps put off by the fact all the other contestants are giggling away in beds lined up right next to them. That will be fun.

Erin has sweetly told Eden she “will attack” if another girl goes after him, and the violence could come sooner than anticipated, judging by her horror at the arrival of single bikini model Kim, who “looks like me, but not”.

As the contestants work on “building up the bants” and presenter Sophie Monk is attacked by an insect, it looks like Australia is already hooked.

Fans of the British version and newcomers were immediately intrigued by the “cringe”, but “addictive” set-up, although many were disappointed that the contestants were all white. And the inane conversations were simply too much for some stomach.

Get ready for drama, game-playing and a vat of foundation. A new low, or your new favourite?

Love Island Australia airs Sunday-Thursday 8.30pm on 9Go! and 9 Now.

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