Ten's Bachelor In Paradise kicks off with awkward 'man-whore' drama

Fortunately for viewers, two things complicate matters.

Firstly, Davey is Jake's mate, so as much as he wants to return serve on Flo, he's diverting to Leah Costa from Matty J's season instead. They make out on a hay bale in front of traditional Fijian dancers. It seems disrespectful; she calls the kiss "half-arsed".

Secondly, with the male-to-female ratio tipping heavily on the dudes' side and not enough roses to go around (the women control the first rose ceremony), Jake understands Flo is his best shot at securing a steady stint on the island, ramping the franchise's cringey desperation to unseen levels.

Unaware of the girls' chatter, Jake's cocky about his chances. When Flo pulls him aside and suggests she might give him the rose 'cause she "already knows" him, he furrows a brow and facetiously offers: "You don’t have to do that."

His demeanour shifts on a dime when Flo accuses him of being a Gold Coast man-whore. Yep, that'd do it. I'm no Amber Rose on the politics of slut-shaming, but it's not a great look for either of them.

"What do I do, give you a rose? I'd feel bad if it turns out I'm making a fool out of myself on television, embarrassing the shit out of me..." she says.

"Oh, so you'd rather embarrass me right now?" Jake replies, fairly enough. He storms off to the toilet.

But Flo's not buying the victim act. "It's not illegal to be a man-whore, but will I be picking him? No," she tells the cameras.

In what's suspiciously good timing, Davey and Leah return from their date - and Davey notices how upset Flo is. When he finds out Flo and Jake had beef, he yells "I think I've made a mistake!" and tries sidling up to her. Goddamn, these are some idiot men.

Flo assesses the situation. "Jake's being dodgy, Davey's being a little bit shit... Ugh, can I have a Panadol, please?" she tells the cameras. It's good advice for all of us.

Fan favourite Keira Maguire's just getting started.

It's a rather engrossing premiere for Ten's new spinoff, which had taunted a tamer spirit to its racy US counterpart, thanks to a PG timeslot and nervous producers.

By episode's end, we're left with an instant hook-up, some bickering exes, and a hilariously trashy love quadrangle. For those still suffering MAFS withdrawals, it'll do.

Leave it to fan favourite Keira Maguire, who makes an entrance with her own slinky femme fatale theme, to sum it up: "It's been one day, everyone needs to calm down."

Bachelor In Paradise continues on Ten on Monday at 7.30pm.