Tomb Raider reboot: Painfully generic and frequently boring

VIDEO game adaptations have had a sketchy history in Hollywood, and by sketchy, we mean critical bombs.

This version of Tomb Raider isn’t going to be the one to break the curse.

A reboot of the Angelina Jolie franchise from the early 2000s, Tomb Raider is the original story of the fearless and resourceful Lara Croft, now played by a miscast Alicia Vikander.

One wonders if the Oscar winner has been taking the advice of her husband, Michael Fassbender, who also has the dubious distinction of starring in his own terribly misguided video game adaptation, Assassin’s Creed.

But at least Tomb Raider isn’t nearly as woeful as Assassin’s Creed — its crime is that it’s painfully generic and frequently boring. There’s only so much time you can spend watching Vikander run, grunt and occasionally look shocked — shocked that she got roped into this.

As talented as Vikander is, she is not right for this role. Her bearing is too regal and she doesn’t have the scrappy energy to make it work.

Seven years after the disappearance of her father Richard Croft (Dominic West), a gazillionaire businessman and secret explorer, Lara works as a thrill-chasing bike courier. When she discovers her father’s secret office, along with his plans to find the tomb of a Japanese empress with fearsome powers, she embarks on a quest to trace his steps, desperate to unearth his fate.

She convinces Lu Ren (Daniel Wu), a boat captain in Hong Kong to take her to Yamatai, an uninhabited island off the coast of Japan where the tomb is supposedly located. But the path there takes them through a perilous stretch of sea and what awaits them on the island may not be what she bargained for.

As far as the story goes, it’s par for the course for a video game and the movie follows that simple structure — a mystery to be unravelled, a dangerous adventure filled with threats both human and natural, unmemorable allies and stunningly arch villains, all culminating in a climax that involves puzzle solving and lots of leaping and panting.

That’s about as far as Tomb Raider goes — it ticks the bare minimums and doesn’t strive for more.

Most of the writing and dialogue ranges between rote and hokey (you will roll your eyes at least 14 times), and there are no surprises to be had. Of course there’s a shadowy organisation bent on some kind of ill-defined power grab. Of course Lara will find strength she didn’t know she had. Even the action sequences are prosaic and entirely expected.

It all feels half-arsed — you’ll be so bored at times you’ll find yourself wondering if the rock placement in a jungle scene looks too fake (it does, by the way).

If the final scene is to be believed, this movie has been designed as the starting point in a franchise. If it’s to keep going, the filmmakers are really going to have to level up in the next instalment.

Rating: 2/5

Tomb Raider is in cinemas today.

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