Wife swaps and hot mums: MAFS boys' night turns ugly

It did not bode well that even before the boys' night, it was apples and oranges for Justin as he tried to get a handle on his insta-wife Carly Bowyer's breast size.

His sexy lingerie shopping instead turned into a rehearsal for this year's Mardi Gras parade.

Justin, is that you?
Photo: Nine/Fairfax Media

"All I have wanted is for Justin to step up, make a move, put in some effort and I don't really feel like he's doing that," said Carly, who has yet to discover where Justin's true tastes lie — watch out Ashley!

"I have been trying my best with what I have got in front of me, and I have been pushing through all of these things because I can see the bigger picture." (What, a lifetime's supply of soft serve?)

"But I don't feel like he's doing the same for me.

"I don't want to waste time with the wrong person, and if I'm never going to find him attractive maybe it's not worth it at this point."

'This is lame': Carly on trying to sext Justin on MAFS.
Photo: Nine

Enter Troy, who apparently has a better grasp on Carly's breast size, given the photographs that have emerged of the pair kissing in a park.

But at this stage, he's still only got eyes for Ashley ... and her mum, Stephanie.

"The gene pool is very attractive, especially from the mother's side... I think she is very attractive, she has beautiful hair, she looks like she spent a lot of money on the hair to get certain highlights and the colouring is so unique!"

After some creepy comments about her physique, and the suggestion that she may share some of her daughter's tastes in men, Stephanie called a quick halt to Troy's line of questioning: "Let's not go there!"

Maybe Troy's "super dust" isn't so magical.

Troy and Ashley's mother Stephanie on 'a date'.
Photo: Nine

Tracey may be starting to learn just how shallow Dean's layers go — from his best friend, Michelle, who was not surprised to learn that Dean had almost attempted a wife swap with Davina Rankin on national television.

But Michelle was not about to throw her bestie completely under the bus. Instead she made a quick U-turn at Compassion Lane. "I think when his mum was sick, he used dating and not getting too serious as an outlet," she told Tracey.

"I think he's exhausted. In recent months, I think he's been seeking something a little bit more meaningful. And he's told me that he really likes you and that he wants to see where it goes."

'Run!' .. Just kidding. Dean's best friend, Michelle, talks to Tracey.
Photo: Nine

Dean, meanwhile, found himself once again in the confessional box, but to Tracey's mothers. He told her biological mother, Patricia, that he had feelings for another bride and "strayed a little bit".

"I am deeply hurt that he did that to her. In the short time that they've been together, he's really hurt her and that's really bad to me," Patricia told viewers.

On delving further into whether he was likely to stray again, Dean's only response was that he was giving the relationship his all, but they weren't at the "love stage" yet.

That left Pat to state the obvious to the cameras — that she had doubts about whether the relationship was going to last.

Grill'D: Dean talking to Tracey's two mothers, including Patricia (left).
Photo: Nine

But Tracey was more confident, suggesting to the cameras that the couple were in fact falling for each other. And did Dean agree? When told to behave himself on the boys' night, he replied with "rightio mate".

Meanwhile, it wasn't long into the girls' night that Carly dropped her bombshell that she had asked Justin to leave her apartment. This seemed understandable, given his choice in underwear and the sex being as awkward as that kiss on the commitment ceremony couch.

Fellow bride Melissa Walsh proclaimed that she was "not a fan" of Justin, who at that time was busy telling the boys that Carly was not someone he would have approached outside of the experiment.

"From the first time I saw her I thought, 'she's great'; a very refined woman," a gobsmacked Troy said privately (to a national audience). "And at his age, at this stage, she's like nine years younger than him and that's got to be a great thing."

Meanwhile the human boomerang on relationships, Dean, was happily dishing out advice to Telv Williams, who almost lost his relationship over a Snapchat.

"Telv needs to be his own man," King Deano declared to the cameras. "Sarah (Rosa) wears the pants in that relationship and I don't think that works for Telv to be told what to do."

Dean advises Telv to 'hit it and quit it'.
Photo: Nine

But Telv told the boys that he was going to give it a go, to groom Nasser Sultan's disgust, and it was left to an unhappy Patrick to cool the testosterone levels and save Telv's insta-marriage. "Listening to the Deans of the world, I'm not sure that's the right advice to be listening to."

"Maybe just be the bigger man," Pat told Telv, as he explained that it wasn't about being on social media, but Sarah needing the assurance that Telv was the one. R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Sing it sista! "Be the better man and make it work."

So with Telv's issues resolved, talk turned to Dean's grilling. And while Dean again defended his treatment of Tracey in chasing Davina, the broader wife swap question was then brought up by Troy: "If you could have had any girl at the start, like swapping, swapping ...?"

A chorus of "ohhhh" threatened to drown him out. Dean, however, was delighted.

Dean happily plays the game of imaginary wife swap.
Photo: Nine

"Mate, I will say it straight up, no disrespect Justin, but I said at the start it would have been Carly," Dean bragged. Meanwhile, Davina has started up a revenge porn Instagram account.

"Judging solely on looks, I don't know her that well as a person," he added, with MAFS veteran John Robertson starting to become uncomfortable with the conversation.

"Mate, Carly is like a little sister to me," said an unperturbed Justin, to which Telv called out Justin for having slept with his so-called sister, "that's weird. Don't say that shit man."

Non-gentlemen prefer blondes: Justin had no qualms about declaring his preference for Ash.
Photo: Nine

"Hang on, Carly is going around saying she wants Dean," countered Justin. "That's no secret."

"I have at times felt a bit of a vibe from Carly," agreed Dean, the forever player. Poor Tracey.

"Carly's honest and she fancies her type of guy is Deano and Troy," Justin continued. Troy looked cautious of the cameras.

Troy looking cautious over the love triangle he found himself in as discussions of a wife swap hit its peak on MAFS.
Photo: Nine

And in the twisted game of imaginary wife swap, Dean asked Justin if he was attracted to Tracey.

"Tracey is attractive, but I'm more attracted to people, to girls, like Ash. I said to the experts I do like the blonde, beach girl, Aussie-type girls."

"What about Tracey, guys? She's hot," persisted Dean. "If someone said they wanted to bang Tracey, please I'd be into it."

While John couldn't believe his ears, Pat was on a mission to differentiate himself from the boys, telling the cameras that the guys had crossed the line and shouldn't be having that type of conversation.

"Justin, if you had the choice, Carly or Ash?" pushed Dean.

"Well, we'd have to talk about it first," Justin said to an awkward Troy. "Would you swap right now? Ash, Carly, you guys, would you swap? Would you take Ash right now?"

"I would not disrespect the girls, but I'd be open to it," said Justin. "I'd pick Ash."

Ash unwittingly became the center of the grooms' affections on MAFS.
Photo: Nine

"Wife swap!" Dean's call to arms quickly got shut down by John, Telv and Pat, who made it known that they were happy with their lot.

"There is no swap, I'm here for a reason. Move on," Pat said.

But like a dog with a bone of contention, Dean pressed on. "Was anyone's mum hot?"

And it was Troy's turn to finally pipe up. "Yeah," said Troy, who once again obsessed over Stephanie's hair. "She's quite pretty."

In his most noble move of late, Nasser called for the conversation to be dragged out of the gutter, while Pat threatened anyone who mentioned his mum.

"If the girls knew what the guys were talking about tonight, I think a lot of these relationships would be over," Pat told the cameras.

Patrick was unimpressed with the conversation.
Photo: Nine

Cue Carly confiding her concerns over the boys' chat, with Tracey's worst fears realised.

"I don't want Dean talking about anything personal. I think that's really disrespectful and if he does then I'm going to be pissed."

Watch Patrick play the whistleblower on that one.

Aja Styles is a passionate and dedicated writer who specialised in courts and crime during her stint with WAToday.com.au. Since moving to theage.com.au in 2012, she's taken on varied duties in reporting, home page editing and in sections, before commencing her current role in 2013.