WATCHING a bad superhero television show can feel like you’re standing in a bank, wearing a mask and holding a rubber gun while someone with a laser eyes and a cape is closing in. You know it’s going to be very painful and then not end well.
But how do you know whether you’re watching a superhero or a superzero television show? There’s so many, with new seasons appearing all the time, like Luke Cage’s season two on Netflix from June 22.
Yet they’re not like the smash-hit movies such as Black Panther or Avengers Infinity War. For a start there’s so many of them, spread across so many platforms.
And it’s not like the movies, where Marvel has become the byword for slick, funny, smash hits and DC for dark shows that take themselves too seriously.
In fact, when it comes to TV, it’s often the other way around.
You also have to remember that a superhero movie clocks in at about two to three hours. A typical Netflix season is 13 one-hour episodes, while the commercial TV series are shorter but go for 20-plus episodes. That’s a lot of commitment if you find out you don’t like this hero.
So here’s our guide to the best and worst of superhero television shows.
HEROES
JESSICA JONES, Marvel, Netflix
The premise
SHE’S a private investigator with a drinking problem, post-traumatic stress disorder, super strength and super speed. She doesn’t really want to save the world; she just wants to earn enough cash to buy a better brand of booze. Until a supervillain with the power to make people do what he wants, who controlled and abused her, returns to New York. Now she’s the only person who can stop him.
The verdict
LIKE the other Marvel shows on Netflix, it moves slow. But Jessica is a great character, smart, vulnerable and sarcastic all in one. Krysten Ritter is the perfect actress for her. It’s too dark for kids but it’s very funny and there’s a great cast of supporting characters.
DAREDEVIL, Marvel, Netflix
The premise
LAWYER Matt Murdock (Charlie Cox) is blind but his other senses are so enhanced that he can “see” what is around him. Each night he takes to the streets as a masked vigilante called Daredevil, trying to save Hell’s Kitchen in New York.
The verdict
IT’S a bit lineball. Again, this one is not really for kids. I like Daredevil but find his alter ego Matt Murdock bland and stodgy. Hell’s Kitchen? More like school canteen mashed potatoes. Luckily a great supporting cast take this into hero territory, particularly the hilarious Foggy Nelson (Elden Henson) as Matt’s partner in their law firm.
PUNISHER. Marvel, Netflix
The premise
FRANK Castle (Jon Bernthal) is a former Marine whose family was brutally murdered. He doesn’t have any super powers, just a talent for violence. This anti-hero exacts revenge and punishes the baddies.
The verdict
KEEP the kids well away from this one. Castle uses everything from guns to a sledgehammer to take apart his foes. It’s bloody and brilliant. I love an angst-ridden male hero and Bernthal delivers as Castle thinks he had his revenge, only to find there is a much bigger conspiracy.
THE GIFTED, Marvel, Foxtel
The premise
REED Strucker is a prosecutor who specialises in locking up mutants now the X-Men have disappeared. Until his kids develop mutant powers and the family has to go on the run from the ominous Sentinel Services. Now their only hope is the very mutants Reed was hunting.
The verdict
GOOD for teenagers to watch and also good for everyone older as well. The family dynamic feels real (and, let’s face it, what parent of teenagers doesn’t think their kids can be mutants sometimes?) It’s got high production values, powerful messages and a fast-paced plot. It should be made into a movie.
LEGION, Marvel, Foxtel
The premise
DAVID Haller (Dan Stevens) thinks he is just mad. But it turns out he’s an incredibly gifted mutant and the son of Professor X from the X-Men. Soon he is the focus of a fight between shadowy organisations. But how much of what is happening is inside his head?
The verdict
SERIOUSLY trippy but unbelievably good. It feels like no other superhero show and you’re always questioning the reality of what you are seeing. It’s not the sort of show you can tune in and switch off to. It will blow your mind. Not for kids or the easily distracted.
SUPERGIRL, DC, Foxtel
The premise
SUPERMAN’S cousin Kara arrives 20 years late after getting stuck in the Phantom Zone, but she also brings with her a prison full of super-powered criminals to crash-land on Earth. Like her cousin Clark Kent she slips on a pair of glasses to fool (yes, really!) the world into not realising she’s a superhero with all of Superman’s powers. Now she helps her stepsister and a secret government agency round up these evil aliens, who all want to kill her because it was her mother that put them in jail.
The verdict
LOADS of fun. Supergirl (Melissa Benoist) is a little too aw-shucks cheesy for my taste and the positive “girl power” affirmations make me slightly queasy. But the action is great and the supporting cast, including Calista Flockhart as Kara’s boss for a couple of seasons (channelling Meryl Streep from The Devil Wears Prada) is fantastic. Good for teens as well.
BLACK LIGHTNING, DC, Netflix
The premise
JEFFERSON Pierce gave up being a superhero because his wife and kids were scared by how much he was getting hurt. Now divorced and a school principal, he tries to look after his teenage girls and protect his students from the powerful gang that haunts his city — as well as the racist police. But when his daughters fall foul of the gang, he has to suit up again.
The verdict
WOW. This is beyond good and into great, even if it’s too violent for younger teens. A flawed hero and two sassy daughters make a great team, as his older daughter begins to develop her own powers. This show has a lot of black power — literally, given he is able to channel lightning. I can even forgive the fact the first baddie he faces is called Lala. I look forward to the future episodes where he takes on Tinky Winky, Dipsy and the rest of the Teletubby gang.
THE FLASH, DC, Stan; New series on Foxtel
The premise
BARRY Allen is struck by particle-enhanced lightning and wakes with the power to move like a Flash. But the same storm that created him, also fashioned other “meta humans” who aren’t as altruistic. With the help of his police detective stepfather and the discredited professor whose particle accelerator started the problem, he begins to fight crime, while searching for the truth behind his mother’s murder — and who framed his dad for the crime.
The verdict
EZRA Miller’s Flash in Justice League was the best thing about that movie. While Grant Gustin’s Flash doesn’t have quite the same fragile fun about him, he’s still great. Plus the supporting cast are top notch characters. Safe for teens to watch as well.
GOTHAM, DC, Netflix; New series on Foxtel
The premise
BRUCE Wayne is a boy, scarred by the murder of his parents. Around him, those legendary villains he will fight as Batman begin to take over the city and James Gordon (Ben McKenzie) is a shining light in a corrupt police department, who is trying to stop them and yet helps create them along the way. It’s less a superhero origin story and more a supervillain origin story.
The verdict
ANOTHER one that’s too dark for kids. But it’s brilliant. The fun is in watching the rise of Penguin, Riddler, Catwoman and those other legendary villains, while Gordon battles furiously (but ultimately futilely) to stop them.
DC’S LEGENDS OF TOMORROW, DC, Foxtel
The premise
THE curiously-named Rip Hunter arrives from the future to assemble eight heroes to help him travel through time and stop immortal supervillain Vandal Savage from destroying the world.
The verdict
Bags of fun. From Prison Break’s brothers Wentworth Miller and Dominic Purcell playing a pair of crooked brothers, to Victor Garber as the professor who has to link with a young jock to become the hero Firestorm, it doesn’t take itself too seriously. Production values can be a little wobbly but it moves fast and the action never stops.
ZEROS
ARROW, DC, Netflix; New season on Foxtel
The premise
ARROGANT playboy Oliver Queen is marooned for five years. When he returns home, it is to make up for his father’s crimes, help the poor and punish the wicked as Green Arrow, a hooded vigilante with amazing parkour skills and Robin Hood-like abilities with a bow.
The verdict
ALMOST a hero. I know it has an army of fans and has gone for six seasons. It might well get better in those later seasons. But I just found the ultra-American, square-jawed heroicness of Oliver to be boring. I don’t want my heroes to be dull but worthy. Still, if you like gratuitous shots of rippled six-packs then it could be a winner for you.
MARVEL’S AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D, Marvel, Netflix
The premise
AGENT Coulson (Clark Gregg) didn’t die when Loki stabbed him in The Avengers. Instead he came back to life to lead a team investigating for S.H.I.E.L.D. Until that was controlled by HYDRA, so then its gets complicated.
The verdict
APPARENTLY seasons four and five are very good. But you have to get through the dreadful first two seasons to get there. Boring scripts, dull characters and inconsequential stakes had me turning off long before then.
RUNAWAYS, Marvel, Foxtel
The premise
A GROUP of teens discover that their parents are actually supervillains. They also discover that some of them have superpowers — and that their parents may have murdered one of their friends because she found out the truth.
The verdict
I LOVE, love, love the premise. But the execution is flawed. The six teens are all cardboard cut-out stereotypes (the jock, the princess, the geek etc) and I found myself cheering for the supervillain parents to get rid of them all.
IRON FIST, Marvel, Netflix
The premise
BILLIONAIRE Danny Rand is lost in the Himalayas as a boy. He returns as a martial arts legend with the power of the Iron Fist to save New York from an evil gang named the Hand.
The verdict
PROBABLY the worst superhero show on TV. Silly dialogue, dumb fight scenes and annoying hero. Whoever developed this needs to give themselves an Iron Uppercut.
LUKE CAGE, Marvel, Netflix
The premise
LUKE Cage suffered a sabotaged experiment that left him with super strength and unbreakable skin. He tries to live a quiet life but the mean streets of Harlem force him to step out of the shadows and be a hero.
The verdict
ALMOST a hero show. The black power aspects give it a really strong political edge. But Black Lightning is the better show because it combines this with entertainment. Ultimately I found Luke Cage to be so stoic that he’s dull and the best supporting character, Pops, gets popped early on. Season two is about to drop and may well have solved those problems. If so, just skip the first season. It’s three hours of entertainment stretched into a 13-hour season.
DEFENDERS, Marvel, Netflix
The premise
LUKE Cage, Jessica Jones, Iron Fist and Daredevil have to come together to save New York from a plot to destroy it.
The verdict
MANAGES to combine the worst of all four shows. The bits with Jessica Jones zing along, reminding you of how good a character she is compared to the other three. But there’s not enough to save it. Even Sigourney Weaver can’t rescue it as the baddie.
AGENT CARTER, Marvel, Netflix
The premise
AGENT Peggy Carter, the former love interest of Captain America, fights HYDRA and sexist attitudes in post-war America.
The verdict
IT HAD all the right ingredients but, instead of being given to a chef, turned into a delicious meal and served on fine china, they chucked it into a cement mixer and poured it into a trough. Cheap, annoying and a total waste of brilliant actor Hayley Atwell.
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