'Let's cut the bulls---': MAFS returns with a fiery family feud - The Sydney Morning Herald

"The modern dating world is like swiping through your rubbish bin," goes the first line uttered in Nine's anticipated season opener for Married at First Sight.

Nine's producers have a sense of humour. If modern dating is rubbish, resorting to MAFS as one's final shot at love is like diving headfirst into the dump tip.

Considering the headline-churning scandals (and residual PTSD) that greeted last season's attempted love matches, it's surprising Nine even managed to secure a willing cast, let alone 10,000 applicants.

And yet, here we are. A brief glimpse introduces each new contestant, while a guiding musical cue fills in the lacking psychological detail.

There's the slow plinking keys of Ning, 32, a hairdresser and mother of three. "I was a single mum at 16, and it was very lonely and hard work and I missed out on a lot of things. When the kids are in bed, the housework's done and I have no one to talk to, I get a bit sad... I think I've always been lonely," she says.

MAFS has its quickest villain, Ines.Credit:Nine

A rowdy blues guitar tells us Ines, 28, a legal assistant, will be trouble. "One of my hobbies is just being in my bikinis... Being attractive does have its down sides, like some girls just won't like you," she offers.

Gentle strings introduce introvert Matt, 29, a videographer. "During high school, because I was a sensitive kid, people started picking on me for that. I just withdrew, and didn't really socialise with people," he says. Within minutes, he's forced to reveal he's a virgin.

They're an interesting bunch of victims, uh, hopefuls. By the end of the season half of them will be threatening to sue Nine and producer Endemol Shine for alleged defamation, probably. Season premieres are such an innocent time.

Monday's episode, however, focuses on just two couples: Jules, 36, a business manager/hair and make-up stylist and Cameron, 34, an ex-pro cricketer; and Nic, 27, an electrician and Cyrell, 29, a health fund consultant who still lives at home.

The former seem destined for success. Both are reformed workaholics who've realised their professional ambition has kept them single, and are now ready to throw everything into starting a family. Their biggest issue is that Cam might be three feet tall, and Jules is about one missed breakfast off a nervous breakdown.

Hopeful couple Cam and Jules.Credit:Nine

A silent wedding dance - their impromptu solution to a busted reception speaker - brings the already besotted couple even closer together. "Their first night alone promises to be magical," says the show's cheesy narrator.

Nic and Cyrell have a different problem, and its name is Ivan, Cyrell's overprotective brother. "I have a very intense Filipino family," Cyrell explains. "They meet me, they meet the family."

When, over family dinner, she first breaks the news she's joined this televised mayhem, Ivan taps into the prevailing consciousness. "No expert can bring love! It comes from the heart, plain and simple," he yells angrily. "No one needs to be marrying a complete stranger!"

Cyrell is in tears, wondering why her favourite sibling won't just support her decision, for f---'s sake. "Don't swear in front of the food!" yells her mum, which is a sentiment we can all get behind.

Cyrell, right, with brother Ivan, a MAFS sceptic.Credit:Nine

Ivan begrudgingly relents to attend the wedding. But at the ceremony, after Nic and Cyrell make awkward jokes about "slipping it in" while exchanging rings on the church altar, he tells them they're being "disrespectful". At the reception, he takes Nic aside for a grilling.

"Let's cut the bullshit, what are you after? ... Why should I give you a chance? I'll tell you right now, you're going to earn your respect," Ivan forcefully tells Nic. He asks Nic why he hasn't settled down yet.

"I was sick a few years ago..." begins Nic.

"Sick? So every time you get a flu you're going to say, 'You know what, Cyrell, I'm sick, I've gotta go my way now...' What is your sickness for you not to settle down? That's not a good enough excuse," says Ivan.

For all his healthy scepticism, Ivan missed the earlier reveal. When Nic was 24, he battled testicular cancer. After going through chemo and surgery, he's "here, healthy, happy, alive". He tells Ivan as much, and his face drops.

"It wasn't just the flu, it wasn't just a little f---ing cold, it was legit. So that's why I haven't been ready," says Nic. "I haven't obviously said anything to Cyrell yet... That's between her and I."

He hits back stronger.

"You're also talking a good game for her, but I've gotta see that too. What does your sister deserve? Happiness, love, somebody to treat her right? That's what I deserve, too. It goes two ways. That's why we've gotta take each day as it comes, get to know each other, and hopefully we're right for each other."

Ivan outstretches a respectful hand. He returns to Cyrell with a verdict. "You know I've always disagreed with this whole situation, with this love expert bullshit. The only thing I want you to do is give him a chance. He looks like a genuine bloke. Make sure you don't f--- it up."

For a show that made its name on a creepy infidelity scandal, the heart-stirring family drama is a surprisingly sensitive look for MAFS. Will it last? A rowdy blues guitar echoes in the near distance.

Married at First Sight continues on Nine on Tuesday at 7.30pm.

Nine is the publisher of this masthead.

Robert Moran is an entertainment reporter at The Sydney Morning Herald and The Age